Using Humor to Encourage Your Child

Humor is a great tool to use when a situation has become tense between you and your child but hasn’t yet fallen apart. Think about the times when you’ve harmoniously gotten through an activity; there is usually laughter and smiles all around. Use it wisely and sparingly and your child will fall under your spell the second you pull it out. The trick is to be ready to drop the attempt instantly if it’s not working, and replace it with kind, authoritative boundaries.

For example, brushing teeth is a battle often had in many households. When it comes time to brushing, your child lets you know that it’s not his time, that his teeth don’t need brushing, that he’s just too busy to be doing that right now, etc. Try waiting 20 seconds or so and then putting on a a teeny tiny plaintive toothbrush voice:

“‘Jaaaaaaaaaake!’ Oh! Did you hear that? What was that? I hear a voice coming from the bathroom. ‘Jake’s teeth, where are you? It’s me your toothbrush. I’ve been waiting for you all day, I miss you!’”

He’ll be in on the joke and want to keep the fun going with you. You can continue using your toothbrush voice to encourage him to clean all the nooks and crannies and then thank him for all of the hard work once he is done. Clothes that want to be in the hamper or drawer, towels that want to be on the rack, shoes that feel lonely away from the closet – all can be discovered to have voices and possibly to move like puppets.

Can This Be Applied in Other Situations? (Spoiler: Yes!)

Let’s move onto another difficult battle, cleaning up the play space. It looks like a tornado has just whipped through the area, and no legos, craft supplies, or books can be salvaged. You want to teach your child the importance of cleaning up after himself, so you ask him to pick up the room before he moves onto another activity. You walk away and come back to find… the exact same mess and a child deeply involved in  another activity. The problem here is that your child finds cleaning this room just as daunting as you do, and doesn’t know where to begin.

Next time try to approach it with a humorous and lighthearted attitude. Suggest having a cleaning party, only the most fun kind of party. Turn on their favorite tunes and challenge them to boogie it out with you. Someday, he’ll be able to put things away without direction. But for now, have him clean by item-  the legos go into the box, then the craft supplies into their bin, and finally the books back on the shelf. At the end let him know how much fun you had during your cleaning party.

The Don’ts of Using Humor

There are don’ts when it comes to humor: don’t use sarcasm, don’t make fun, and don’t insult. Saying things like, “Your teeth are so slimy and smelly that even the dog doesn’t want to kiss you goodnight” may sound goofy and harmless but children internalize that kind of talk. Would you let your boss say, “Your article is so poorly written that not even our dumbest client would want to read it”? No, you wouldn’t, and you wouldn’t want your son to talk like this when he is the boss either.

Use humor wisely too: if your child uses your jokes or their own to delay cooperating indefinitely, drop it for the moment.

What are your favorite ways to employ humor with your child? Have any funny stories about times that humor has worked? Share them in the comments below.

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